Do you know you have an ‘Approachable Side’?

It’s probably something you never gave much thought to.waiting not talking

I recently came across a post from one of my contacts on LinkedIn it said –

‘Hostile listeners are often on the left of the speaker and concordant ones to the right. At a table, change positions to neuter conflict.’

I wondered if the person posting had come across this an exercise that I taught first to teachers and trainers and then to children and then back to business people – here are two versions below – perhaps you’d like to try it out and let me know what happens?

Checking your Approachable Side

Few of us are aware that we have an ‘approachable’ side, and the implications this can have for conversations with others.  This approachable side also applies to learners too. We have a ‘better / preferred’ side for taking on learning.

This is a fun exercise with huge implications we have found.

Are you more approachable from one side than the other?

In threes

A remains standing on the spot

B thinks up a question and asks the same question from three different positions

A’s task is to notice the differences in his/her response and feelings to the question.

B approaches A from A’s left, stands still and asks a question “Could you do me a favour and lend me some money?”  B gives A time to notice and fix A’s immediate response.

B moves away and approaches A from the right and repeats the same procedure.

Finally B approaches from the front.

 

Give feedback away from the spot on which A was stood. What did A notice, what did B notice and what did C notice?  Carry this exercise out for all three participants.

Debrief – will this have an effect on where you might stand / sit in the classroom (and at meetings as well).  Notice – are there sometimes pupils (people) with whom you have difficulties? What would happen if you moved or asked to sit somewhere else?

 

and with children we used this version

Checking your Approachable Side

Working in three

Person A remains standing on the spot.

Person B thinks up a question and asks the same question from three different positions, such as ‘can I borrow your pencil?’ (Make it a realistic ask or it won’t work).

Person A’s task is to notice the differences in his/her response and feelings to the question.

Person B approaches A from A’s left, stands still and asks a question “Could you do me a favour and lend me your pencil?”  B gives A time to notice A’s their immediate response.

B moves away and approaches A from the right and repeats “Could you do me a favour and lend me your pencil?”  B gives A time to notice A’s immediate response.

Finally B approaches from the front and repeats “Could you do me a favour and lend me your pencil?”  B gives A time to notice and fix A’s immediate response.

All three of you get together away from the spot on which A was stood and talk about what you each noticed. What did A notice, what did B notice and what did C (the person watching) notice?

Carry this exercise out for all three of you.

Notice – are there sometimes people with whom you have difficulties? What would happen if you moved or asked to sit somewhere else?

The latter version is included with a story in Picture

Birko and Friends – using stories and NLP to enhance learning
If I can help you wth anything else please either contact me through the Developing Works Website or contact me on 01309 676004, 01224 900748 or 07796 134081 or find me on Twitter or LinkedIn where I share useful tips on Words that Change Minds and Career Managment Coaching.

 

 

 

 

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