Are you ‘paralysed’ by options, opportunities, possibilities? So many things you could do and if you decided for one or the other of them, would you worry that there might have been or will be a better option, opportunity, or possibility coming along than the decision you made or are about to make?
I mentioned this to one of my clients and he said ‘when I heard that it sent a cold shiver down my spine, I can identify with that. I spend ages in inertia, and then I do miss out.’
The trouble with this way of reacting is we can then shrug our shoulders and say ‘oh well that wasn’t the right thing for me.’ ‘Another time maybe’, ‘that’s the way life is,’ ‘not my turn this time’. When we react in this way we might notice that there are other people around us who become infuriated, these people want us to ‘get a move one’, ‘for goodness sake – do something’, ‘do it now,’ ‘do it before it’s too late’.
The sad fact is we will only ‘do it now’ when it meets our personal criteria, those things which push our hot buttons, make us salivate. The things we know we really want to do.
You might be reading this and asking ‘what?’
We all have the ability to be proactive – so to get out and get things done, when it suits us, when it meets our criteria. And we all have the ability to do – nothing, to sit on our backside and wait. When we add other patterns in with these patterns (they are after all patterns of behaviour) in a given context then we will either do something or not. And we all have a period of time that it takes (in a given context and these contexts change, so I might act one way at work and another way at home or in personal relationships and in all of those contexts I might well act differently at different times – we are human beings, we do complex stuff), a period of time in which we are convinced. The LAB (Language and Behaviour Profile – Words that Change Minds) and the Edelmann Trust barometer both state that the average number of times it takes the majority of people to be convinced of something is 3 times [although Edelman also shows that this is closely followed by 3 to 5 times].
So when we are waiting for someone else to do something, to make a decision or whatever that is we want them to do what can we do? Well we can also find out if they are motivated by avoiding something, ‘I want to avoid – being overtired,’ ‘- working too long hours for too little money’, etc. Or are they motivated by what they will gain ‘I want to have a shorter working week’, ‘I’d like to have the freedom to choose my clients’ etc. Add whether they want to gain or avoid something into the mix and how many times they will need to hear or see or do something and we’re getting closer to getting them ‘to buy in’ to what we what to happen.
Like to learn more about how to understand yourself and others, before it’s too late?